Five months after Julia Roberts‘ half-sister Nancy Motes died of an overdose, her bitter suicide note has surfaced, revealing the reasons behind the suicide.

Motes wrote that Julia and her other siblings and mother were to blame for her depression.

“I burst into tears b/c I woke up. My mother & so called ‘siblings’ get nothing except the memory that they are the ones that drove me into the deepest depression I’ve ever been in,” Motes wrote in the note.

”I have suffered thru this disease all my life, however It has never been this bad.”

The note was filed in court papers in relation to probate of Nancy’s estate and it is divided into three sections – one addressed to her fiancé John Dilbeck, another to her mother Betty and Roberts, and a third addressed to ‘everyone’.

Dilbeck discovered Nancy’s body on February 9.

”I know this will affect you the most and & I can’t apologize enough,” Motes wrote in the section of the note addressed to her fiancé. ”I was truly blessed & lucky to have you as my true love and best friend. I will carry you with me forever…. And I am so sorry.”

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